


Tanqueray

by Maknaeholic



Series: Stray Kids Are My Honeysuckle [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, WooJin/MinHo is mentioned to be a couple but I didn't add it in the couple tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 14:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16788835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maknaeholic/pseuds/Maknaeholic
Summary: The taste of alcohol mixed with Felix’s saliva felt familiar, but the alcohol on its own was disgusting because it reminded him how he’d never be able to enjoy it again without the freckled boy.





	Tanqueray

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Dan + Shay's song "Tequila" and wanted to write a Chanlix songfic based on it. Apparently, Country music reminds me of Chanlix a lot.
> 
> Sorry I have no fucking idea what they drink in Australia as in a national drink or something (ironically, I'm from Mexico and Tequila is mine), so I used Tanqueray because of Troye Sivan's "Fool" lyrics.

_“But when I taste Tequila, baby,_

_I still see ya.”_

Chan was okay. Chan was fine. Chan had no problem with doing any of the things he used to do when Felix was with him; to tell the truth, the ex-leader of Stray Kids had no regrets. Nine years as Stray Kids paid off for all of them: he was still under JYPE, along with the rest of 3RACHA, WooJin had changed companies as soon as his contract had ended to become a soloist, MinHo did the same to pursue an acting career, SeungMin stayed as a variety shows MC, HyunJin changed the stages for runways and JeongIn debuted again as leader of a new group. Felix went back to Australia and never contacted Chan, so the older assumed the ex-rapper was good too.

Things happen when you live together for so long with eight other people, when you see them every single day of your life, when you learn everything about them because they’re _your_ responsibility. Those kids were Chan’s life for over a decade, so he was devastated after they talked about their future plans away from each other. He let them go, each one of them, one by one, regardless of 3RACHA staying together. Chan still kept himself together while… _Felix was still there_. He’d never admit it, but the blonde was someone special, a tad bit more than the rest of his ex-members

Maybe it was because Felix always gave him a smile whenever he came home, because the other Aussie boy would play with his natural curly hair as they cuddled on a single bed in an empty dorm, or maybe it was simply because Felix finally _noticed_ him after three years of Chan’s silent pining. Chan knew he was no competition to ChangBin when it came to Felix, and the way he felt about the so-called dark rapper; however, the leader still lost all their games on purpose just to make sure Felix was okay. ChangBin was oblivious to Felix’s feelings, no matter how loud they were, too blinded by HyunJin’s existence, and, in Chan’s opinion, they were a match made in heaven. The two fitted together like puzzle pieces, falling into place without effort, so Chan felt bad for Felix, whether he was suffering too or not.

_“[…] Your lips pressed against the bottle.”_

The changes were small, slow and a bit frustrating for Chan. Felix would finally lean on his shoulder instead of ChangBin’s on their rides back to the dorm, the boy would stay back to keep him company in the studio as he worked on a new song, offering his help, and he would play with Chan during their fanmeetings, sitting and standing next to him for as long as he could. Chan would never dare to ask if something was wrong, afraid of ruining it and pushing Felix away from him. How could he tell the pretty freckled boy he wanted him to be even closer? So close they’d be mocked by the others, exposed by the others on interviews, and told to stop like they did with HyunJin and ChangBin? So, Chan waited until it came all out one night, while celebrating in their dorms after winning another award, and all of them being of legal age then, the alcohol was more than involved. Rosé, Chan’s friend, had been to Australia a few weeks before, and she gave him a bottle of Tanqueray as a gift. Needless to say, Felix recognized it quicker than expected, begging Chan to share it with him.

How was Chan supposed to deny something to the other Australian? That’s how they ended up a bit more than tipsy, laughing at JiSung’s loud serenate at SeungMin and WooJin’s attempt to flirt with MinHo when they were dared to as they played a weird version of Spin The Bottle. HyunJin practically screamed at Chan, all giggles and red cheeks, to spin it again. Chan followed the order with a laugh, spinning the bottle anxiously as Felix was right across from him, before he closed his eyes. Not sure why, but he was glad he did because as soon as he opened them, Felix smiled nervously.

It pointed at each of them. Chan looked at JeongIn, the one controlling the game, and swallowed at the maknae’s smirk.

“ _Kiss_ ,” JeongIn’s dare didn’t even make them blink; they were so used to skinship: hand holding, cuddling and kissing, that it wasn’t out of the ordinary. Still, for Chan, it was something he’d rather not do with Felix; although, Felix seemed more than okay with it as he crawled all the way to his lap, the blush on his freckled cheeks a clear sign of his tipsiness, and made himself comfortable on it. Chan was far from uncomfortable. The two stared at each other for a whole minute, trying to find something none of them did, not at least until Felix leaned down to press their mouths together. Soft, soft, soft lips caressed his own, with a strange sense of confidence that probably came from the alcohol, but he couldn’t complain at all. Chan’s fingers traveled up Felix’s arms, stopping at his nape to pull him a bit closer, and all Chan could remember for the next two minutes was the strong taste of Tanqueray on Felix’s tongue.

_“Swearing on a Bible…”_

Chan was known to be a workaholic, always holed up in his studio either alone or with 3RACHA, so even when the other seven were doing lives or uploading pictures for the fans, Chan was nowhere in sight. Though, soon enough, Chan and Felix were inseparable. No one questioned it, as all of them were clearly biased for someone else in the same group; besides, it wasn’t like Chan was any less strict on Felix than he was on the rest of the members. In fact, all of them were quite happy to see their leader enjoying himself a bit more since he started dating Felix. The three-year dating ban they had was a joke for all of them, some of them were together before they debuted, but they pretended to keep it for the sake of their careers. It was kind of an open secret. Chan and Felix always had a special bond; a bond that went beyond them. All the small details, intertwining their lives in moments where none of them knew of the other’s existence until they culminated in their meeting at JYPE, were proof that they were meant to be. Felix was the only one who could make Chan drop everything for the littlest of things; sometimes, Chan thought that Felix made up random excuses just to have him push aside his compositions to waste the afternoon cuddling the boy. Chan was the happiest man alive for that reason and many more.

Despite faith and love, they were young. Chan was three years older than Felix, and only felt the gap after Felix turned 21. Felix was no longer the gentle teenager he used to be when Stray Kids debuted; he had grown into a man with an attitude, which became one of the main reasons why Chan fought with him whenever he got too out of hand.

“You’re not a kid anymore, Felix,” Chan’s accent was still there whenever he got mad, which didn’t occur often. “You have to be responsible for your actions.”

“Who says I’m not?” Felix’s hair was a bit longer than usual for their comeback look, icy-white from roots to tips, and it matched his expression as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Felix, you’ve been missing practice for a week, you call that being mature?” Chan pointed at the door. “You know how JYP sunbaenim is, yet you keep on doing your best at getting on his nerves.”

“That’s because I’m not the apple of his eye, unlike you,” Felix rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t good enough, remember?”

“Don’t you bring that up now,” Chan pursed his lips, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “I need you to focus on our comeback, please.”

“Whatever,” the younger Australian walked out of the practice room, and Chan could only throw his arms in the air, doing angry hand movements.

No one of the members in the room dared to break the silence.

_“Baby, I’ll never leave ya.”_

“I’m not renewing my contract,” Felix mumbled against a glass filled with Tanqueray.

Chan stopped writing on his lyrics notebook he carried with him all the time because some things never change, but he barely turned his head towards Felix, who was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, basically at Chan’s feet. Felix looked up at him, eyes as big and bright as the day they met, and Chan couldn’t help himself. The leader placed his notebook aside, leaning down with a hand pushing back Felix’s bangs, to kiss him. They kissed for a minute, slow and deep, like they hadn’t in a while. Chan was never good at expressing himself when it came to Felix, that’s why it took them months to finally talk about their first kiss then a whole year to define their dating as a relationship. Not a lot changed, just a few extra touches and hand holding, as Chan was always too worried about what would the fans think. Felix slowly crawled up onto Chan’s lap, Tanqueray forgotten on the floor, too lost in their kiss to care. Chan wasn’t half as much of a fan of the drink as Felix was, the older Aussie wasn’t really into drinks that weren’t soda or water; at the same time, he loved the taste in Felix’s mouth. A kiss turned into two, three, four… until Chan lost count, using them as an excuse to keep Felix there. Even when Chan was bad with words, Felix understood what he tried to say with his actions.

_“I remember how bad I need ya…”_

Thinking of Felix didn’t happen often to Chan, usually he’d be too busy to have time, so when ChangBin invited him over to celebrate something of his with HyunJin, Chan gladly accepted. He arrived a few minutes late, might have been half an hour, because he stayed back checking a few details on their latest mixtape, but no one was surprised. WooJin quickly embraced him in a tight hug, telling him they should meet more, before MinHo pulled him back with a laugh to let Chan breathe. Chan got very excited at the sight of SeungMin talking with JeongIn and JiSung, running to the taller boy, who he almost tackled to the ground.

“Oh, hyung!” the MC spoke once he had managed to balance his weight and Chan’s. “How you been?”

“I thought you were still in America,” Chan rubbed his cheek against SeungMin’s, ignoring the other two’s hyena laughs. They would be his babies until the day he died. “You never answer my texts now.”

“Sorry, hyung, I had a lot of things going on, but we can hang out some time soon,” Chan moved away from his dongsaeng, nodding.

A few other people arrived later to the party, apparently it was HyunJin and ChangBin’s anniversary, and the house filled up with happy noises. Chan smiled at several guests he knew, including BamBam and JinYoung, completely enjoying the event. Mentions of Felix here and there were normal, he was still in contact with all of them except for him, which he didn’t mind at all. Felix must’ve had his reasons, and Chan respected them. The ex-leader wasn’t bothered over the fact that his relationship, from all the existing ones in the group while they were still together, didn’t work out as expected. With a quick glance at MinHo and WooJin, he could see WooJin’s hand constantly placed on the small of MinHo’s back, more reassuring than possessive; likewise, there was no denying that HyunJin and ChangBin were as whipped for each other as they had been when they were teenagers, or maybe even more after a decade together. Chan could never hold it against them, nor against Felix for giving up on them.

Their break-up wasn’t dramatic or painful, since it was made by the two of them on good terms. Chan had a few hookups along the years, never really lasting, while Felix was still in Korea; in the same way Felix had dated some people. It was funny, though, how they’d end up cuddled on Chan’s bed like they used to when they were younger, talking and drinking Tanqueray because damn Felix had an addiction to it until Felix said he’d go back to Australia. Chan was happy for him; the freckled boy had wanted to go back for so long. Chan had helped him pack and even drove him to the airport. Their goodbye had been awkward to say the least, but it was genuine like everything in their relationship.

“Channie hyung, have some,” HyunJin had danced his way towards Chan, who had been standing outside on their small balcony. “Here, I know you like it.”

Chan cocked an eyebrow at him, “Please, don’t poison me,” HyunJin only let out a melodic laugh as he brought the drink to his lips.

Tanqueray.

_“When I taste Tequila…”_

There was a reason why Chan never drank Tanqueray after Felix’s departure: Chan could handle anything, be okay and happy, unless the taste brought back all the memories of Felix that he had taught himself to push to the furthers part of his mind.

The memories of Felix shyly introducing himself in Korean for the first time, of Felix getting eliminated and crying in the practice room, of Felix running to hug him once they were allowed to debut as nine. The memory of his feelings for Felix when the younger was eliminated, when they debuted as nine, when he couldn’t compete against ChangBin. The way Felix would hold his hand, the way he would exaggeratedly pucker his lips for a kiss, the way he would whisper his worries. Felix in his clothes after their first night together, tanned skin glowing under the soft morning rays, before he blinked half asleep at him. How he had let Chan count the freckles on his face one day. He could still see Felix pressing a kiss to his cheek the day he left for Australia, and the tears he pretended not to see.

The taste of alcohol mixed with Felix’s saliva felt familiar, but the alcohol on its own was disgusting because it reminded him how he’d never be able to enjoy it again without the freckled boy. Chan let out a small sigh, forcing a smile for HyunJin, “Thank you, Jinnie,” the dancer held one of his hands with both of his, in a comforting gesture.

“I know how much you loved him, hyung,” HyunJin’s tone was gentle, as if he was afraid of hurting Chan. “I actually invited him today, but…”

“It’s okay, HyunJinnie,” Chan stroked the back of one of his hands with his thumb, “it’s better like this.”

“He loved you too,” the ex-leader nodded, letting go of his ex-member’s hands. “I’ll head back inside, don’t stay out here too long, okay?”

“Since when did you become so motherly? MinHo’s going to give you hell,” Chan joked, but HyunJin only rolled his eyes with a smile, turning on his heels. “Yeah, I’ll just… finish my drink.”

_“I ain’t even drunk, yet I’m thinking how I need your love…_

_Yeah, it sinks in.”_

“Christopher…?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll make a series of Country songs that remind me of Chanlix and other Stray Kids pairings.
> 
> @curiouscat.me/Maknaeholic


End file.
